Sex can take many forms – as a couple or with a stranger, in a romantic or bestial way – depending on the reason behind the act. Desire for sex to satisfy a desire or need for sex to have an orgasm, the motivations differ according to the individuals but also according to the moment.

Does the individual really need sex?

Apart from the case of the sex addict, whose impulses govern daily life, the woman or the man does not have a vital need for sex. He can observe very long periods of abstinence without really jeopardizing his physical or mental health. Even more blatantly, an asexual individual, who feels no sexual attraction to anyone, may never have sex. However, the influence of hormones, the desire felt for a person or even love can make one feel a strong desire for sex.

Satisfy your sexual urges, to fight against frustration

If the urge for sex is not vital, most men or women sometimes feel irremediable urges. Once the desire is stimulated, it is difficult not to go to the end without being frustrated. In this context, the desire for sex can lead either to consummate intercourse or to masturbation until orgasm. Sometimes, too, a long period of abstinence is in the opinion of those concerned physically frustrating, to the point that the individual indulges in solo sex without particular prior stimulation. This concerns in particular men whose production of testosterone is important.

In the end, it’s hard to decide between wanting sex and needing sex. The sex addict is a good example of the need for sex when the asexual individual demonstrates that abstinence is not harmful. If hormones, a physical factor, can play a preponderant role in the need for sex, the psychological reasons that encourage taking action tip the scales towards a simple desire for sex. 

While men are known to want sex often and easily, women on the other hand tend to have less need for sex. Some of the reasons that motivate a woman’s sexual urges include physical attraction, the urge to have fun, and love. Few women express an uncontrollable urge for sex, except the desire for motherhood which can lead to an overwhelming urge for sex.

Conversely, it happens that the woman does not want sex. Hormonal disorder, lassitude towards the partner, breakdown of desire caused by the routine installed in the couple or personal problems factors of stress and anxiety: the factors are numerous. Fortunately, there are just as many ways to rekindle the urge for sex. 

Is sex all about the envy of a particular person or can it be a simple urge that can be satisfied with “any” partner?

It all depends on the circumstances. When the urge for sex is motivated by love or physical attraction, only the person experiencing the feeling will be able to satisfy the urge for sex. On the other hand, if the drive is hormonal, a priori only orgasm counts. Likewise when the individual wants sex in particular circumstances – to satisfy a fantasy or to show that he can seduce and please – the need for sex is abolished from the notion of identity, the physical act being at the heart of concerns.