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Explain the reasons for the father’s absence
The father is absent regularly for professional reasons. It should be explained as simply as that to your child. He feels, in fact, a lack and needs to understand. Tell him that his job is important and that even though Dad is not around, he loves him very much and thinks of him often. To reassure him, do not hesitate to broach this subject regularly, and depending on his age, complete the information. The best is for the father to take the time to explain his job himself, the regions or the countries he crosses… This makes the activity more concrete and your child can even take pride in it.
Notify each departure
An adult has his departure date written on his diary, he has prepared his things, sometimes taken his transport ticket … In short, the trip is of course very concrete for you. But things are much more vague for the child: one evening his daddy is there, the next day, no one! Or he doesn’t know. Moms, whose husbands travel a lot, have certainly heard this phrase “He’s coming home tonight, daddy?” “. Uncertainty is difficult for the little ones to live with. Without having a press conference, the dad must always take a few minutes to explain to his child that he is leaving and how long it will last (we often count in number of sleeps). A word of advice: he should never leave “like a thief”, and be afraid to face crying if there is any. It’s always better than letting angst set in.
Hide from your child that we have the blues
It’s not easy to be alone in your hotel room often. It was not easy either to take care of the household alone during this time. But it’s an adult choice, you don’t have to charge your child for it. Avoid sentences like “You know, dad, it doesn’t amuse him to be away and alone all the time”, your child does not understand your economic constraints. Always try to be positive when it comes to travel and above all de-cul-pa-bi-li-sez. A deep relationship unites the father and his child and it is not absences that will reduce it to nothing.
Maintain contact by phone
Today, it’s easy to keep in touch! Telephone, e-mail for older children and even the old method, letters or postcards, which the child will keep like so many trophies. This communication is essential to keep the balance: to build a bond with his child and to keep his place of father. The mother also helps to forge this bond: she makes him present by often talking about him. A trick to make the time shorter: make a calendar with it, why not a countdown like the advent calendar. There are x days left before dad comes home.
Father traveling: anticipating his return
The good news is that after a departure, there is a return. And that, the children never tire of celebrating! For example, you can organize a “gala dinner” with dad. Choose a theme (the sea, England if you are coming back from London), make a pretty decoration (a few seashells installed on the table, small English flags recovered from the racing circuit) and you will have a festive moment that allows your child to re-compose the family and reassure him. The father can also save a little time on the absence by preparing for the return. For example, he can ask his child to start a drawing or a construction that he will finish with him upon his return.
Building a relationship despite the absence
The objective: when, unfortunately, we are not there often, to better optimize the few hours we have to devote to our family. When a father comes home, his whole family is waiting, everyone needs their moment.
* Reserve unique moments for your child. The little ones are fond of the tasks that usually fall to dad: washing the car, going to a sports or DIY store. The child will benefit greatly and will be proud to share moments of complicity, to “get out” of the house with his dad. Moreover, it is often at these times that the thousand and one questions about the world arise. This does not prevent going for a bike ride or attending a judo competition, these activities, more futile, are also important for the child and simply show the interest that one carries him.
* Finally, of course, the family needs to get together: around a meal, a walk in the forest, a little walk to the market or the park. Just because you are a “normal” family!
* And if there is a little time left, the dad must spare time for him. Squash game or rugby match with friends. Dads who travel a lot often feel guilty about taking time for themselves.