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Do you feel that the man is moving away? All conversations come down to discussing TV shows and household chores? Do you feel like your partner is not interested in spending time together? This behavior may be a sign of a lover’s loss of interest in your relationship. We tell you how to understand that a man is losing interest, and how to behave in order to return him.
Emotional distancing is common in relationships. As a rule, it develops slowly, so it is easy to miss it until the distance between you is considerable.
There are many reasons for emotional withdrawal, some of which may be related to your partner and some may be related to you. Psychologist Guy Winch highlights some common reasons why your partner may be emotionally withdrawn and tells you what to do if a man has lost interest.
6 reasons why a man moves away
1. Goal achieved
When it comes to physical intimacy, it is not uncommon for women and men to behave in opposite ways. Women feel a greater emotional connection and attraction. While the love of some men fades easily — especially after the first intimacy. This leads many to wonder: why do men lose interest after sex?
The answer is quite simple, says psychologist Mark Rosenfeld. “Regardless of how a man behaves before the first sex, the real reason why he loses interest after it is that he does not feel enough “non-physical” attraction to you,” the expert is sure.
Indeed, there is a type of men who are aimed only at intimacy with a woman. If a young man was not initially interested in you as a person, then you should not worry about him!
2. Desire to be alone with yourself
Many couples, especially those with young children, have little to no time for themselves. Some people try to isolate themselves by putting on headphones or switch off by immersing themselves in TV shows or their phones. If this is your case, the best course of action is to ask your partner if they have a need for solitude, and discuss how and when you can spend time apart from each other. It is best if the agreement is mutual and you also have time for yourself.
3. Stress is to blame
People often respond to high levels of stress and emotional distress with withdrawal. How to behave in such a case? If there are obvious stressors in your partner’s professional or personal life, Guy Winch advises asking how he is coping, if at all. You should discuss options for reducing or coping with stress. If you think a man may be depressed, gently suggest that he see a specialist.
4. Feelings are not the same
Is your partner not putting the time and effort into the relationship the way they used to? Avoiding intimacy? Don’t you understand what happened? Don’t start a fight, instead choose a time to talk. Do not do this spontaneously so that the man can mentally prepare for the discussion of the relationship.
Ask how he feels about you and if there are things he would like to change in order to feel happier. Before answering, make sure you fully understand his point of view (this is difficult, but important). If he is unwilling or unable to discuss ways to rekindle the relationship, you may want to offer couples therapy.
5. Cycle of avoidance
A man thinks that you are dependent on him, so he takes a step back, which makes you feel anxious and afraid. These emotions give rise to a desire to find out what’s wrong immediately, which forces the partner to take another step back, which only continues the cycle.
To determine if these dynamics are the culprit in a relationship crisis, take a temporary step back and «need» a man a little less — at least for a week. If your partner responds by warming up and becoming more interested and approachable, then you now know how to break this vicious circle.
6. The cycle of criticism and suspension
Emotional distance from a partner often causes great pain. You can react to her with criticism or resentment, constantly signaling your displeasure to your partner.
In this case, the man may withdraw even more, because he will be afraid that any attempts at interaction will lead to even more criticism of him. To break this cycle, make sure your communication with your partner follows the 80-20 rule: at least 80 percent of your communication should be neutral or positive, and only 20 percent negative.
But most importantly, talk! Do not start quarrels, do not beat the dishes, do not immerse yourself in your thoughts. While you are discussing with your friends over a cup of coffee which women a man is losing interest in, you can very quickly become one of them. Do not be afraid to talk about your feelings and experiences to your partner, but do it with restraint. And remember, the reason for the loss of interest, withdrawal or emotional withdrawal of a man can be anything, not just you. So always try to understand your partner before jumping to conclusions.