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The need for reassurance
These compulsive behaviors (cravings) are part of minor anxiety disorders. The child bites his nails, wriggles his hair or nibbles his sweater to control his internal tensions, this allows him to unload his aggressiveness (desire to bite) and to get pleasure (sucking the fingers, the sweater). These small involuntary gestures of self-contact reassure him, a bit like the thumb or the pacifier that the little ones can not help but suck. But don’t worry about it!
The reaction to an event that the child has not been able to handle
These little quirks often appear following an event that disturbed his daily life: entering school, the arrival of a little brother, a move … Something that worried him and that he could not express other than by biting his nails or eating his sweater. This little mania can be temporary and only last for the time of the triggering event: once the child’s fears have subsided, the little mania will vanish. But this can persist even when the triggering situation has disappeared. Why ? Because the child (often nervous) has noticed that his little mania has proved to be very effective in managing daily a lack of self-confidence, a feeling of insecurity or a contained aggressiveness … Therefore, each time that he will find himself in a delicate situation, he will indulge his little mania which over time will become a habit difficult to break.
Ask yourself the right questions about your child’s tics and manias
Rather than trying to make it disappear at all costs, it is better to look for the causes of this involuntary gesture and identify the moments when it occurs: before falling asleep? When is he looked after by his babysitter? At school ? We can then ask the resulting questions and try to talk to him to find out what is bothering him: does he have trouble falling asleep? Is he happy with the person who keeps him? Is he still friends with Romain? Is he often scolded by the teacher? Your kind listening will reassure him and make him happy. He will no longer be alone to carry this burden!
Listening to your child and accepting his little quirks
Rest assured, just because you have to mend the sleeves of his sweater every week or find that he systematically wiggles his hair while watching TV, for example, doesn’t mean your child will become obsessive and stuffed with tics. . Anxiety exists in all children. Avoid pointing out his flaw at all times and talking about it in public in front of him, you might tense up on his mania and, worse, affect his self-esteem. On the contrary, try to play down and take a more positive approach by telling him that you can help him get rid of his mania, which will go away sooner or later anyway. Or reassure him by telling him that you too have the same mania as him. He will feel less alone, less guilty and he will understand that this is not a handicap. If your child shows a desire to stop and asks for your support, you can get help from a psychotherapist or use bitter nail polish, but only if he or she is okay, in which case your step will be perceived as punishment and will be doomed to failure.
When to worry about your child’s tics or manias?
Watch the evolution of this mania. If you notice that things are getting worse: for example that your child tears a lock of hair or has his fingers bleed, or that this mania is added to other signs of tension (social difficulties, food, falling asleep …), talk to the pediatrician who can refer you to a psychologist if necessary. Rest assured, in the majority of cases, this kind of mania disappears on its own around the age of 6.