Some are silent by nature, while others like to talk. But the talkativeness of some people knows no bounds. The author of the book Introverts in Love, Sofia Dembling, wrote a letter to a man who does not stop talking and does not listen to others at all.
Dear person who has been talking non-stop for six and a half minutes. I am writing on behalf of everyone who sits opposite me with me and dreams that the stream of words pouring from your mouth will finally dry up. And I decided to write you a letter, because while you are talking, I do not have a single chance to insert even a word.
I know it’s rude to tell those who talk a lot that they talk a lot. But it seems to me that chatting incessantly, completely ignoring others, is even more indecent. In situations like this, I try to be understanding.
I tell myself that talkativeness is the result of anxiety and self-doubt. You are nervous, and chatting calms you down. I try very hard to be tolerant and empathetic. One needs to relax somehow. I’ve been self-hypnotic for a few minutes now.
But all these persuasions do not work. I am angry. The further, the more. Time goes by and you don’t stop.
I sit and listen to this chatter, even nodding occasionally, pretending to be interested. I’m still trying to be polite. But a rebellion is already starting inside of me. I cannot understand how one can speak and not notice the absent glances of the interlocutors — if these silent people can be called that.
I beg you, not even, I beg you tearfully: shut up!
How can you not see that those around you, out of politeness, clench their jaws, suppressing a yawn? Is it really not noticeable how the people sitting next to you are trying to say something, but they can’t, because you don’t stop for a second?
I’m not sure that I say as many words in a week as you said in the 12 minutes that we listen to you. Do these stories of yours need to be told in such detail? Or do you think that I will patiently follow you into the depths of your overflowing brain? Do you really believe that anyone would be interested in the intimate details of your cousin’s wife’s first divorce?
What do you want to get? What is your purpose in monopolizing conversations? I try to understand but I can’t.
I am your complete opposite. I try to say as little as possible, state my point of view in a nutshell, and shut up. Sometimes I am asked to continue a thought because I have not said enough. I am not happy with my own voice, I am embarrassed when I cannot quickly formulate a thought. And I prefer to listen rather than talk.
But even I can’t stand this flurry of words. It is incomprehensible to the mind how you can chat for so long. Yes, it’s been 17 minutes. Are you tired?
The saddest thing about this situation is that I like you. You are a good person, kind, smart and quick-witted. And it’s unpleasant for me that after 10 minutes of talking with you, I can hardly restrain myself from getting up and leaving. It saddens me that this peculiarity of yours does not allow us to become friends.
I’m sorry to have to talk about this. And I hope there are people who are comfortable with your excessive talkativeness. Perhaps there are admirers of your eloquence, and they listen to your every phrase, from the very first to the forty-seven thousandth.
But, unfortunately, I am not one of them. My head is ready to explode from your endless words. And I don’t think I can take another minute.
I open my mouth. I interrupt you and say: «I’m sorry, but I need to go to the ladies’ room.» Finally I’m free.